My Dog And What I've Learned About Ibs And Holding Things In

[Norby]

My poor puppy is a lot older than we thought.  We rescued her and got rid of heart worms and got her spayed.  Fixed her stomach problems and got her from 43 to 65lbs.  The seizure thread explains the problems she was having last year when we put her on CBD.  Thought it was seizures but it was an enlarged heart and inflammation and fluid in the lungs and possible tumors, arthritis and just getting old.  She's upped hte CBD and seems to be doing well with the Doxy.

 

During this time I couldn't eat the first 3 days.  Then I started digging into why I couldn't see any life other than the moment, that I couldn't make it past this or even thru this.

 

My father died when I was 17 and we had a bad relationship. Our "fun" time was Tuesday night bowling.  3 hours of getting strikes here and there and my father telling me I didn't line up on the 3rd arrow and threw my arm off at the last second to get that strike. Do it again and do it right this time.  I once got a 98 on a 5th grade spelling test when in 2nd grade, highest in the class.  Showed my dad and told him 3 grades above my level, highest in the class.  He threw it back at me and told me to bring it back when I get them all right.  I hated him.  I wanted him to die even after he had quad bypass surgery at 37 yo.  When it happened I blamed myself and carried it with me all this time.  That's why I can't eat when these things happen.  I torture myself because I'm not perfect like my dad was trying to teach me to be.  Never once told me he loved me unless my Mom made him do it.  All these years I've carried that and now I realize it's ok to think things can be good after a tragedy like this.  It's ok to cry about it.  Everything happens for a reason and this scare was to make me realize what I'm doing to myself.  So I've refound my faith, I don't know in what but it's helped tremendously.  And I've forgiven myself and realize my father plays blame in some of this, to the extent that he died before he could give me any solace.  but I can't really blame him for that, it is what it is.

 

So Tasha seems to be doing well with just the second day on doxy and I'm actually able to cry and eat, feel nervous and eat, things I couldn't do before if I knew I had to fly somewhere.  It's because I lost faith in anything and was programmed by my dad that perfection was the only thing to be satisfied with.  He was training me for Viet Nam. But my talents aren't in being able to be a repetitive machine, my ability is to be able to react and do right at the last minute.  ANd he never gave me credit for it. 

Maybe I'll go into the Aspergers theory of Neanderthal and that I'm over the 98th% with 3% and my Mom had 2% which means my Father mustve had 4% which would put him in the 99+% adn what all I've learned about Neanderthals.  I've been doing a lot to fix up my health and learn since I've moved to Mi.  It's helped tremendously.  And it all started at age 45, just about the exact same age my father adn my grandfather both died at from heart disease.

 

I think I'm going to write a book someday.  I feel more like I can accomplish anything I want to again after lifting that huge weight.  And I realized it's good to cry.  Just not too much.

Edited August 2, 2016 by Norby

[Norby]

Oh ya, and if your going to withhold love and congratulations from your kid to make them strive to be as good as they can be, make sure you leave a note and make sure you explain that the way you treated them was all for a reason and not to feel bad about any feeling it may have created and then apologize for doing it.  Would've saved me 30 years.

[t-pain]

ain't no manual for being a parent.

[phaquetoo]

wow norby im so sorry to hear that life story!

 

You are going to be fine, I learned to cry and feel my feelings w/o my dad being to effectionate, my parents never went to any of my sporting events, my mom would always tell people (in front of me) dont name your boy's jimmy they are all bad!

 

my mom and dad never told me they loved me when I was growing up, I guess it just wasnt the way things were back then, I did know they loved me though!

 

my pops had his first heart attack at 43 yrs old,  he never used to say I love you, Now there isnt a day that goes by that my dad dont tell me he loves me, I still have to say it to my mom first or she wouldnt say it!

 

I dont shake my dad's hand, I give him a big hugg and kiss right on the lips lol when ever I leave for a day!

 

I was taught that men dont cry, men dont have feelings,  well common sense and my feelings told me that was wrong!  I feel all of my feelings the good, bad and ugly, sometimes the ugly is realy ugly but I would rather let it out than let it build up and come out in a non helpful way!

 

I feel for you brother!  Im glad you are getting over what your father tried to teach you, I wish you the best and hope your pup does awsome, I met your pup!

 

Peace my Friend!

 

Jim

[Restorium2]

Parents usually raise their kids how they were raised.

[Restorium2]

wow norby im so sorry to hear that life story!

 

You are going to be fine, I learned to cry and feel my feelings w/o my dad being to effectionate, my parents never went to any of my sporting events, my mom would always tell people (in front of me) dont name your boy's jimmy they are all bad!

 

my mom and dad never told me they loved me when I was growing up, I guess it just wasnt the way things were back then, I did know they loved me though!

 

my pops had his first heart attack at 43 yrs old,  he never used to say I love you, Now there isnt a day that goes by that my dad dont tell me he loves me, I still have to say it to my mom first or she wouldnt say it!

 

I dont shake my dad's hand, I give him a big hugg and kiss right on the lips lol when ever I leave for a day!

 

I was taught that men dont cry, men dont have feelings,  well common sense and my feelings told me that was wrong!  I feel all of my feelings the good, bad and ugly, sometimes the ugly is realy ugly but I would rather let it out than let it build up and come out in a non helpful way!

 

I feel for you brother!  Im glad you are getting over what your father tried to teach you, I wish you the best and hope your pup does awsome, I met your pup!

 

Peace my Friend!

 

Jim

We have a lot in common. Our 'folks' are the same. We were brought up the same until a point ..... Only difference is when my dad had his heart attack at 41 he died. I was 8.  So I never got that softer side. Just the loss. The tough mom who had to take over the whole job. Thank your lucky stars my friend. You got that second chance. 

[WET]

Thanks for sharing that. Life ain't easy and it seems that those that have had it the hardest get beat up a little more than most, are heard less than others, and often don't get help that they need. Those of us that push through and make it are tougher and smarter for it, albeit beat up and hurt. I'm sorry for the past struggles and doubts, norby, but seeing your strength and confidence shine through speaks to your resolve and spirit. Cheers!

 

Wet

[Norby]

I'm not blaming him in any way I understand a lot better now.  Can't fault a man for dying before he finished something. From what I've learned about these neanderthal genes, he was doing what he was programed to do and from the life he had, we can't help things we do because we can't understand or see.  We can only try and understand and not blame.

I wouldn't be here right now if everything didn't happen just the way it did.  The past is the past, I'm better now because of it.  And I made it thru a lot of hard shiit because of what he did for me.  Everything happens for a reason and I'm a fool to think I'd understand it now.  Just have to have faith and let things go.  I don't KNOW if I'll ever see him again, I don't really know anything even as smart as I am.  That's where we're all equal as my knowledge could be , was, futile for the knowledge I needed to get thru, sometimes the smartest people miss the simplest things.

[Norby]

Parents usually raise their kids how they were raised.

That's the thing, his dad beat the bunny muffin out of him and his mom beat the bunny muffin out of his sister.  He grabbed me and threw me on the bed once with his fist back behind his shoulder ready to punch till he hit floor, I never knew he could move that fast, and his eyes were glazed over and my mom yelled "ronny!" and his eyes came back into focus and he let me up.  He broke the cycle of physical abuse.  I have nothing but respect for him now.  I did before I just had to be angry for 15 minutes when I realized what was up.

[Norby]

And thanks everyone really, I shut myself down for 30 years and everything I've gone thru I owe help from all of you, and I'm very grateful and I feel friendship here from going thru it with y'all.  I know I can be a prick, it comes from my fathers side:), but I'm glad for the friends I've made here.  Can't wait till the country fair later this month!

[imiubu]

    See you in a few weeks

 

I've come to the conclusion that none of us make it out of childhood with out life long scars.

It's how we choose to deal with/ not deal with our past that shows our true grit.

Congrats Norby... now the emotional healing can begin.

[Norby]

Done, it's been long enough and I tortured myself harder than my father.  I'm at peace now on to the next issue.  This may have been the biggest, but who knows there may be a peace higher than this.  My life has just kept getting better since I've got here and decided it's ok to work on myself too.  no one said the path to enlightenment would be an easy one.

Thanks Imi, can't wait!

[Kingdiamond]

I have the starting phases of IBS  add in my spine injury thats taking away my normal body functions im not looking forward to the future health wise.

[Norby]

So sorry KD, I luckily got better with my sciatica but have had IBS bad for 30+ years, hopefully that'll lessen now.  I feel for you.

I wish you the best.  Let me know if there's anything I can ever do.

[Norby]

Tomorrow is going to be the day.

[Kingdiamond]

So sorry KD, I luckily got better with my sciatica but have had IBS bad for 30+ years, hopefully that'll lessen now.  I feel for you.

I wish you the best.  Let me know if there's anything I can ever do.

Thanks 

 

Not real sure if it came from  my narrowing of my spine backing up my bathroom functions or what but once or twice a month I get deathly ill and it originates in my stomach all my blood and urine tests come back normal but  its some nasty vile shat for sure.

[swamper]

My dad and your dad would have got along just fine. The world is full of sadistic, twisted S.O.B.s and full of those who vow to never be like them! Sorry you had to go through that also.

[Norby]

Tomorrow is going to be the day.

Today is the hardest day of my life. I saved her and she saved me and I was holding her to the last beat. I'm obsessed with palindromes on my odometer and as I put it in park at the vets the odometer read 98089. That was my sign.

[imiubu]

Oh Norby   I can empathize,  I know your heart is aching terribly big hugs brother.

[dutchfarm]

There is a lot of evidence that IBS.Crohn's,etc. is being caused by ingesting Roundup. The Roundup being in the foods we eat and it gets there through a fairly new method some farmers have adopted, it is called dessication, they spray Roundup on the crop the hasten the dry down time required before combining the grain. can't just let it be done like it has for ceturies, let the sun do it's work!! I used to suffer greatly from IBS, have it somewhat under control now, but had to make many changes to my diet and the changes I made goes directly against the mainstream ideas of diet.

                                 Farmer Brown

[trichcycler]

There is a lot of evidence that IBS.Crohn's,etc. is being caused by ingesting Roundup. The Roundup being in the foods we eat and it gets there through a fairly new method some farmers have adopted, it is called dessication, they spray Roundup on the crop the hasten the dry down time required before combining the grain. can't just let it be done like it has for ceturies, let the sun do it's work!! I used to suffer greatly from IBS, have it somewhat under control now, but had to make many changes to my diet and the changes I made goes directly against the mainstream ideas of diet.

                                 Farmer Brown

(you best put on your armor here friend, many people love the stuff to death. )Tinfoil hats and all, I am 100% with you, I've seen the evidence, and have also seen the cures in a bunch of my own family members, after years of introducing them to the evidence. If you can feel it, you can heal it.