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Anxiety And Depression: Medical Marijuana Is The Safest Way For Me...




I have been suffering from anxiety and depression my whole life. At the age of 6 my father was killed by a drunk driver sending me into a downhill spiril that would last 20yrs. Diagnossed with severe depression at age 8, i stayed in therapy untill present, and have experimented with all the cocktails of psych. meds, mood stabalizers, antidepressants, anti-anxiety meds and loads of therapy ranging from once a week to once a month. I hate therapy but i know for a fact (experiance) that the meds i was on never worked for me, and without therapy i was a sitting duck. I began smoking marijuana at a young age, self medicating if you will. My therapists and Dr.'s hated this and labeled me as a substance abuse patient. I didnt care, i knew weed was helping me, and the cocktails didnt. In fact they made me worse at times. If i missed a dose or ran out for more than a day or two i was a real basket case. I would have psychological withdraws, the Dr's would tell me all the risks of the meds, such as potential death, increased suicidal tendancies, possible psychosis, heart attack, constipation, dry mouth, headaches, nausea, liver and/or kidney damage, seizures, and endless more side effects. Why prescribe meds that have the same side effects as the original disease??? its like giving a schizophranic a hit of acid and telling him it could make you worse but marijuanas illegal, and i dont realy care. I gave up the marijuana several times for anywhere from a month to a whole year at a time to give the meds a fair shot, unfortunately the meds only relieved my symptoms temerarley, and often had me in a near comatose state, or so far sedated i would fall asleep standing up, or too out of it to comprehend what was happening around me. Ive never felt these side effects from weed,,,ever!!! About a year ago i tryed hanging myself 3 times in one night, once at the hospital, after being out of my prescribed meds for a few days. I literaly was on a 2 day blackout and dont remember anything for that 48 hr block eccept sitting on my couch smoking a cigarette just after the police cut me down from my basement ceiling and took me to the hospital. I went hay wire in the E.R. striking several medical staff, spitting blood, breaking restraints, and swearing in so called foreign languages. Sounds like psychosis to me, or posession lol...Either way it scared me enough to swear off psych, meds, mood stabalizers, and anti anxiety meds FOR GOOD!!! So around november 2009 i gave up my meds, quit therapy (which im in the process of restarting) and started smoking weed again. I have not had a bad manic, depressed, or manic depressed episode in 8 months, to wheres the episodes were common (daily or weekly) when i was on the "Dr's" prescribed meds. When i smoke weed i feel at peace, i dont fear new surroundings, im not affraid to go out, my anxiety subsides, my depression is minimized more than any pill has ever done, and my manic phases are almost completely calmed or relaxed. Now that you know my origin of depression you should know that i was economicly prone to my dignosis' of bi-polar type 1 with mixed episodes and psychotic features, agoraphobia, panic disorder, anti social disorder, and impulse control disorder. Thats alot of mood and personality disorders to treat with pills, especialy when one medication alone(weed) eleviates or minimizes all the symptoms of all my disorders all by itself. If only the psychiatric community would look past their self rightious handbooks and give marijuana a fair shot at real research alot of people would become better, society would become safer, and our economy would become stronger from those who return to work. Dr's meds almost killed me, therapy is almost irrelevant after 21yrs of it, and going at it without medication is just reckless and dangerous to myself and the people around me. My whole entire family agrees that marijuana is the best med for me personaly, theyve even offered to help me pay for it if my funds were low (im on disability for my disorders, with 4 kids meds arent always affordable) just as they did when i needed help paying for my psych meds n mood stabalizers. Over all the years of medication this past year with no Dr prescribed meds and taking medical marijuana alone, even my family would agree that this is the best year ive had in a decade or more....Thats good enough for me...These diseases are genuine, medical marijuana is a lagitamate and safe treatment for these disorders, Michigan needs to acknowledge this fact and consider it. Especialy because Mi. has one of the highest psychologicaly disabled rates in the nation.



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