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Happy Festivus

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Its already upon us, and I still need to put up the Festivus Pole, and clear an area for the Feats of Strength.

Ah, tis the reason for the season.

We're having an Amish Xmas this year anyway i.e. if Daddy can't build it from materials from Home Depot, you aint gettin' it...

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check it out, only during Festivus!


SANTA ANA, Calif. – A Festivus for the rest of us? A convicted drug dealer in California thinks so. He cited his adherence to the holiday celebrated on a famous episode of "Seinfeld" to get better meals at the Orange County jail.


The Orange County Register reported Monday that Malcolm Alarmo King disliked the salami meals served at the jail, so he used his devotion to Festivus as a reason to get kosher meals reserved for inmates with religious needs.


Keeping kosher is not one of the tenets of Festivus, which was depicted on "Seinfeld" as celebrated with the airing of grievances and the display of an aluminum pole.


Sheriff's spokesman Ryan Burris says King got salami-free meals for two months before the county got the order thrown out in court.



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Celebrating Festivus in Jail: Judge Allows Special Meals for Observant Inmate



A rather witty drug felon in California has been feasting on five-star prison chow thanks to a plot line from the '90s sitcom "Seinfeld."


Claiming a strict observance of the religious holiday known as "Festivus," 38-year-old Malcom Alarmo King convinced a California judge that his religion wouldn't allow him to eat the usual prison gruel. According to the New York Post, Judge Derek Johnson took the seemingly sincere request into consideration, ruling "The defendant is to receive a high protein no salami diet three times per day for 'Festivism.'"


Festivus, in case you are not aware, is a fictional holiday invented by Frank Costanza on the show "Seinfeld" as an alternative to traditional holidays like Christmas and Hannukah. Festivus was actually created by writer Dan O'Keefe, in the early 1960s; O'Keefe's son Daniel was a writer on "Seinfeld" and included the celebration in an episode that aired in 1997.


Apparently Judge Johson missed that particular week of television.


We think the "Seinfeld" writers would be proud of Malcom King, though. King's assertion that he needed the special meals as part of his religious observance is precisely the kind of bald-faced scam that could've easily found its way into a "Seinfeld" script, though. Instead, this hilarious bit of prankery aired -- sans laughtrack -- in the America judicial system. And it worked.


Since King's incarceration in May, the inmate has enjoyed pre-packaged kosher meals that reportedly cost more than twice as much as the usual jialhouse slop. Even more hilarious, the Orange County Sheriff's Department didn't realize it was being scammed until someone searched "Festivus" on Wikipedia.


While King has enjoyed the fruits of his "Festivus for the rest of us" prank (the other rites of Festivus include the airing of grievances, feats of strength and the "Festivus pole"), it has taken months for Orange County attornies to overturn Judge Johnson's ruling.


"This guy doesn't need a kosher diet for Festivus," OC Sheriff commander Dave Wilson tells the NY Post. "But any inmate is free to observe the holiday. We don't have Festivus poles, but plenty of our housing locations have bars in them."





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