Friday Humor

[Royal Smoke]

In my life though, everyday feels the same. I don't look forward to weekends. Half the time, I don't even know what day it is...

 

 

Happy Friday to the Rest of You!!!

 

 

 

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lurt5FosdB4

[Grow Thread]

welcome to the world of growing!!

 

day?? date?? month??? no clue...... but i can tell ya how long each lady has been in flower

[Dubliner]

Just In Time for Christmas ,

 

 

Just when you have lost faith in human kindness, someone who teaches

 

at Kean Elementary in Wooster , Ohio , forwarded the following letter. The

 

letter was sent to the Principal's office after the school had sponsored a

 

luncheon for the elderly. An old lady received a new radio at the lunch as a door

 

prize and was writing to say thank you. This story is a credit to all

 

humankind.

 

 

 

***********************

 

 

 

Dear Kean Elementary:

 

 

 

God bless you for the beautiful radio I won at your recent senior citizens luncheon.

 

I am 84 years old and live at the Sprenger Home for the Aged. All of my family has

 

passed away. I am all alone now and it's nice to know that someone is thinking of me.

 

God bless you for your kindness to an old forgotten lady.

 

 

 

My roommate is 95 and has always had her own radio, but before I received

 

one, she would never let me listen to hers, even when she was napping.

 

 

 

The other day her radio fell off the nightstand and broke into a lot of

 

pieces. It was awful and she was in tears. Her distress over the broken

 

radio touched me and I knew this was God's way of answering my prayers.

 

 

 

She asked if she could listen to mine, and I told her to kiss my arse.

 

 

 

Thank you for that opportunity.

 

 

 

Sincerely,

 

Agnes Baker

[Retta]

The Difference Between Grandmothers & Grandfathers

 

Have you ever wondered what the difference is between Grandmothers and Grandfathers? Well, here it is: There was this loving grandfather who always made a special effort to spend time with his son's family on weekends. Every Saturday morning he would take his 7-year-old granddaughter out for a drive in the car for some quality time -- just him and his granddaughter.

 

One particular Saturday, however, he had a bad cold and really didn't feel like being up at all. He knew his granddaughter always looked forward to their drives and would be disappointed. Luckily, his wife came to the rescue and said that she would take their granddaughter for the drive.

 

When they returned, the little girl anxiously ran upstairs to see her grandfather who was still in bed. "Well, did you enjoy your ride with grandma?" he asked. "Oh, yes, PapPap, it was really wonderful. We didn't see a single donkey rectum, blind gentleman, dipshyt or son of a beetch anywhere we went!"

 

Almost brings a tear to your eye, doesn't it?

[Dubliner]

Baby's ears , Good Food fer Thought & Possible Pun Intended ,,,

 

 

During a commercial airline flight an experienced Air Force fighter pilot

was seated next to a young mother with a babe in arms. When the baby began

crying during the descent for landing, the mother began nursing the infant

as discreetly as possible.

 

The pilot pretended not to notice, and, upon disembarking, he gallantly

offered his assistance to help with the various baby-related items.

 

When the young mother expressed her gratitude, the pilot responded, "Gosh,

that's a good looking baby, and he sure was hungry!"

 

Somewhat embarrassed, the mother explained that her pediatrician said that

the time spent on the breast would help alleviate the pressure in the baby's

ears.

 

 

The Air Force pilot sadly shook his head, and in true pilot fashion

exclaimed, "And all these years, I've been chewing gum."

[Bisharoo]

Some observations for a Friday Humor thread...

 

 

 

1. I think part of a best friend's job should

be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

 

 

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during

an argument when you realize you're wrong.

 

 

 

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't

want to nap when I was younger.

 

 

 

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

 

 

 

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a

fitted sheet?

 

 

 

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

 

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions

on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

 

 

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting

if they told you how the person died.

 

 

 

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't

at least kind of tired.

 

 

 

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

 

11. You never know when it will strike, but

there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever

comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection ...again.

 

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit

out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

 

14. I keep some people's phone numbers in

my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

 

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

 

16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite

than Kay.

 

17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

18. I sometimes have a hard time deciphering

the fine line between boredom and hunger.

 

 

19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

 

 

20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

 

21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty.

Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

 

 

22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

 

 

23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.

 

 

24. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

Ladies.....Quit Laughing