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In Poll About Debt-Ceiling Crisis, Americans Totally Excited About New iPhone


WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a poll taken over the weekend about the looming debt-ceiling crisis and government shutdown, most Americans said that they were totally excited about the new iPhone 5s.


When asked about the prospect of a debt-ceiling logjam leading to a downgrade of the U.S. economy, seventy-two per cent of those surveyed said that the new iPhone looks like the most awesome iPhone yet.


Questioned about the disastrous impact of the U.S. government defaulting on the nation’s debt, sixty-five per cent agreed with the statement, “I can’t believe I waited on line all Friday for the 5s and they told me they’re sold out until October.”


On the topic of whether the debt-ceiling crisis could plunge the world economy into the most apocalyptic catastrophe since the financial meltdown of 2008, Americans were deeply divided over which color iPhone they would choose, but agreed that all of them looked amazing.

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if we rounded up all mexican, and any one who is in the u.s ilegal and sent them back to their home land, instead of admitting them in our hospitals, giving them wellfare, schooling and all that goes with the cost of mostly the ilegal mexicans, they are not here legal, they have gangs every where, including our prisons, when they go to the o.r at the hospital load em up, make sure they are stabliezed and take em to the border, if 2 adult mexicans have a baby or 12 in the u.s while they are here ilegal the children should be ilegal also, send them all home, let the people who come here to work seasonal get in  easier, keep  track of them and when the crop(food of course) are all done and picked send them home with all of there money, its obvious no americans want to do that job, and if americans want to they should get 1st shot at it!



If we charged china what they charge us on the tarrifs to get things from their country here, and our stuff to go their, If we taxed them they would not be able to do our jobs any longer and they would come back to america and we would be out of debt to china in no time, all we have to do is charge them the same they charge us, its not mean its only fair, we would own china instead of them owning us!


and obama care, I wont even go their, I bet you all cant wait for that dem obama care!!  I dont want it they can keep it, I have what im supposed to have and it isnt all that bad yet!



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my samsung is better than the iphone, my tablet is better than an ipad also!



So Chinese -good, Mexican - bad? Ok, to each his own.   Im still using a Trac-phone ... Used to be half the Country,West of the Rio Mississippi WAS Mexico. Guess if you thought that was OK, you wont be surprized when China reciprocates and puts the shoe is on their foot.  Maybe you should consider taking some Chinese Language courses, case any of your equipment needs servicing 

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