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what's your most messed up masturbation story?

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One time in the shower, 13 yr old me thought it would be a good idea to stuff my limp dick into the slippery and tight neck of a shampoo bottle.


Well it felt good for about 3 seconds, Then the hard plastic rim of the shampoo bottle didn't give despite my flesh expanding.


In panic and shame I stood in the shower, paralyzed by indecision and fear, until the hot water ran out and cold water freed me from the stalwart grip of the plastic horror.


Also the soap burned my pee hole.

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Haha, that's a really funny story. I'd probably burn with embarrassment. Imagine if there was a vibrator in this case like this https://joynights.org/best-strap-on-for-pegging/ It would probably be the best story of your life lol.
I don't have those stories fortunately because I only masturbate in my bedroom and sometimes in the shower, but since I live alone I can totally enjoy the process.

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