Security

[wolf]

HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM

 

1. Go to a secondhand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots.

 

2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine.

 

3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.

 

4. Leave a note on your door that reads:

 

"Bubba,

 

Bertha, Duke, Slim, & I went for more ammo and beer. Be back in an hour.

 

Don't mess with the pit bulls; they attacked the mailman this morning and

 

messed him up bad. I don't think Killer took part, but it was hard to tell

 

from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house.

 

Better wait outside. Be right back.

 

Cooter