New Heaviest Element Discovered

[Guest 1TokeOverLine]

Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest

element yet known to science.

 

The new element, Governmentium(Gv), has one neutron, 25

assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy

neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

 

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons,

which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles

called peons.

 

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can

be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it

comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause

a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take

from four days to four years to complete.

 

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2- 6 years; It does not

decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion

of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

 

In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time,

since each reorganization will cause more morons to become

neutrons, forming isodopes.

 

This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to

believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a

critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as

critical morass.

 

When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes

Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy

as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as

many morons.

[pic book]

It took me until the second to last paragraph to realize this was a spoof. It is very skillfully set up. Congrats to the writer.

[Guest 1TokeOverLine]

[Rashore]

LMAO!!!!!

 

That was awesome!!