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U.s. Cancels Regular Drone Strikes On Saturdays


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U.S. Cancels Regular Drone Strikes on Saturdays

 

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Citing budgetary concerns, the United States announced today that it would discontinue regular Saturday drone strikes on U.S. citizens, beginning in 2014.

 

In announcing the decision, the White House spokesman Jay Carney acknowledged that the cutback in drone service was “bound to be controversial.”

 

“In the United States, we’ve always prided ourselves on our ability to target our citizens with drone strikes, Monday through Saturday, regardless of the weather,” he said. “We know that losing Saturday drone service is going to take some getting used to.”

 

But the move to cut back drone service drew sharp criticism from a longtime defender of the program, the former Vice-President penis Cheney. “Like most Americans, I thought I’d never see the day when drones just up and take Saturdays off,” he said. “This would never be happening if I were still President.”

 

As if to silence critics, Mr. Carney assured reporters that drones could “still get the job done” Monday through Friday, and reminded U.S. citizens to update the government on any change of address so the drones would know where to reach them.

 

Read more: http://www.newyorker...l#ixzz2KKw6wJwp

 

(Note: The censor won't let me put in Cheney's first name. It keeps changing it to 'penis'.

Maybe it knows something I don't.)

Edited by Wild Bill
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