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Boehner Urges Republicans To Rest Up For Meaningless Votes Ahead

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Boehner Urges Republicans to Rest Up for Meaningless Votes Ahead


WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—As House Republicans began their five-week summer vacation, their leader, House Speaker John Boehner, urged them to rest up for “the many symbolic and meaningless votes that lie ahead.”


Mr. Boehner, while congratulating his colleagues on having voted to repeal Obamacare forty times, reminded his fellow-Republicans that their work is “far from over.”


“I want you to come back from vacation rested and refreshed, because we’ve got another year of futile, time-wasting votes to cast,” he said. “Only the strong will survive.”


According to Mr. Boehner, this year’s gruelling schedule of fake-repeal votes had been the G.O.P.’s “most physically punishing ever.”


Noting that the exhausting ordeal of frequent, pointless Obamacare votes had transformed his fellow House Republicans into hollowed-out husks of their former selves, the Speaker observed, “Purely symbolic voting may be even more exhausting than actual work.”


“It’s true that voting to repeal Obamacare has cost the American taxpayer over fifty million dollars,” he said. “But that’s nothing compared to the toll it’s taken on us.”


For his part, Mr. Boehner said he intends to spend August at the beach, as he always does, fruitlessly trying to change the rules of volleyball.

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So sick of the GOP and their bigoted members they so want to return the country to how it was in the 50s I firmly believe that it will be their party that starts the next civil war in this country.


Hopefully they will be tossed in the dustbin of history before things get violent, but even if violence ensues, the conservatives are in the minority in this country. Rational thinkers outnumber them. Thank God.

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