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Greetings, Again ;)


jvanslam
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Hello everyone, I have been spending a lot of time reading through this forum over the last year and really have enjoyed the great personalities that have offered up the copious amounts of information. Thank you.

 

Frankly I'm glad I stumbled across the place.

 

I just recently created a profile for a couple reasons and let's explore that now.

 

About 17 months ago I was involved in a pretty bad fireworks accident. I lost my pointer and middle finger on my right hand. my palm split in half almost through and severed the nerve to my thumb so I lost complete function of that as well. Along with the severe amount of pain, I have become very nervous around loud noises and If I hear fireworks going off it really shatters my nerves and gives me tremendous amounts of anxiety and bad memories.

 

I am pretty self conscious about the physical state my hand is in. I am getting over that day by day. I dread talking about the accident with everyone I meet and its hard to avoid that due to the fact its almost impossible for me to properly shake someone's hand.

 

What happened was, we were having a small get together just after the fourth of July. I had some extra mortar rounds floating around in the bed of truck, so when it got dark my buddies 14 y/o son started bugging me to light some off. I caved to the request and got them out.

 

We set up 2 mortar tubes on the railing of a wooden deck that was part of the landing to a private beach on Lake Michigan. I would light one, as it went off my buddies son would go up and light the other one. Everyone was cheering us on the usual manners as the sky would light up and the ground shake with thunderous reports.

 

I went up to load the tubes for another round, we decided we both would light them simultaneously this time. So, after giving him brief instructions we both went to light them on the countdown to 3.

 

1.. 2.. 3!

 

His lit immediately and my lighter blew out a couple times so right at the last second I got mine to go. The tubes were spaced about 10 feet apart so I wasn't worried much about his going off while I was fumbling to get mine lit. What happened next was the start to the worst chapter of my life.

 

ThwooomP! His went rocketing high into the sky in a trail of sparks. Seconds before that my wick had just violently took off burning and as I back stepped away, my tube came rattling off the railing falling to the ground and lay pointing right at us. Aways behind us was about 12 others in beach chairs.

 

The shock to the wooden railing of the first mortar going off was what caused this serious malfunction and w/o thinking I quickly rushed up and tried to tip the tube upwards. At first I was going to kick it, but I thought if I could quickly tip it to its proper position I would avoid any other issue and any potential injuries.

 

It all happened so fast, but I remember every moment. As I tilted the tube upwards the mortar shot directly into the palm of my hand with enormous power. I pulled my hand up and away in reaction but the mortar somehow stayed lodged in place. As my hand swung upwards I turned my face and body away and just as fast, KABOOM!

 

It was so loud, it wasn't loud. My ears screamed with a ringing noise as I felt the concussion slap the entire right side of my body and head. I initially thought it had flung up in the air because it really didn't feel like anything happened to my hand.

 

I seriously felt like Tom Hanks in Saving Private Ryan just as he made the landing on the beaches of Normandy in WWII. Shell Shocked.

 

I turned and watched as my buddies son went falling backwards into the beach grass. I thought right away he was hurt and My Heart skipped a beat as I rushed to his side. I yelled his name and went to grab his shirt to flip him over to see if he was ok. I couldn't get a grab on his shirt at all.. It was then I noticed I was painting his white T-shirt red with blood. My thoughts were crystal clear during this time. All in the blink of a second as I looked at my hand and dropped to a knee beside the boy.

 

"I needed something to tie tightly around below my elbow, the boy looks ok thank god, I need to get to the hospital, I have ruined everyone's night, my dad is going to have a heart attack, my fingers! this is going to be expensive, this is serious. Many thoughts at once.

 

"***!" I said under my voice. "Grab your dad, we need to go now." I calmly said to the boy. I started walking up the stairs heading directly for the truck. Why me, is all I could think during that walk.

 

 

 

17 months and 4 operations later I am almost fully recovered. My family has given me so much love and support. W/o them I would have been much worse off. It has been a long road indeed, so much pain and so much stress but I'm working through it.

 

I am currently battling an addiction to pain pills, which I have made great progress on and should be off everything by Jan 1st is the goal.

 

That comes to the reason I have been skulking around this forum.

 

Whenever I stop taking medication my hand starts hurting unbearably. Pressure and sharp tingling pain that never goes away, only dulled by Rx drugs. I have sampled some medical grown a friend of mine gave to me while in between my pill refills. honestly it works better and with just a small puff every 4-6 hours I have greatly reduced discomforts and it has also helped with the anxieties I have developed. It really is amazing. Here I was thinking all you guys were full of baloney, I thought all you guys were just making up excuses to get stoned. But it actually helps when you really need it.

 

Rx pain pills are the devil. My doctors gave me so much of them with basically unlimited refills. I really wish'd I would have been medicating with mj the entire time than putting all those nasty pills into my system. I believe MM needs to be readily available and a known option for people. Pain pills are ok for a week. But anything longer is a mistake.

 

 

I have decided i'm going to get my mmmp card and manage pain the natural way. No more pills.

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About 17 months ago I was involved in a pretty bad fireworks accident.

i knew rick snyders fireworks idea was going to hurt someone.

 

i'm curious, do you think the new law to allow bigger fireworks should be repealed or do you think people should be able to blow their hands off if they want?

 

i would say let them blow their hands off. but i'd like someone who has experience with this to answer.

sorry to hear about your hand and your ptsd and welcome !

i have a buddy who cant stand loud noises..cant even crinkle a water bottle around him. i hope you get some relief!

 

with that kind of nerve damage , you will probably want to apply a mmj salve/balm to your hand on a regular basis.

did the doctors say when the pressure and pain would lessen? i guess it depends on the last surgery?

Edited by t-pain
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Wow what a opening post!

That must be such a horrific memory to have to replay, very glad everyone made it away with their lives..

Crazy how fast things can change, Glad to hear about your battle with the pain meds as well. If the Marijuana is helping even enough to make you cut down then its a change worth trying. I have been prescription free for a year again...

Welcome to the site!

Trix
:bong2:

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Did you know that those suffering from chronic pain are at increased risk for serious health problems, depression, and even suicide? Finally, there’s a treatment for this pain that will allow you to keep your life, stay active, and it won’t harm your stomach either.

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welcome to the site.

 

i appreciate you telling your story so that others may learn from your experiences.

 

fireworks are no joke and can kill or Mame people.  folks need to be super careful and aware when activating the firing mechanism.

 

thank you for sharing your story and i am glad cannabis helps you. 

 

i can say it till i am blue in the face... and often do.. prescription pain killers are so dangerous.. they have a place on this earth and are needed to a certain extent.. but they are definitely being dispensed for profit rather than for the good of the patients at this point in time..

 

we work very hard to ensure cannabis does not follow the path of the profiteer.

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If you are going to give bonafide medical advice for opiate addiction,Subutex is the first RX they will put you on for a couple days. Then they will switch you to Suboxone. Both RXs active opiate receptors to deal with the cravings. Suboxone is addictive and  expensive ,your health insurance will not cover the cost of it.. So,like a Heroin addict that is given Methadone,you are still addicted. Get more info from reputable medical sites and you can read about it.

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I know some patients who have kicked some very real drug habits using medical marijuana, some dear friends of mine. No good ever comes from using these powerful sometimes experimental drugs. Each has serious effects, some desired, some not.  I figure nobody has a suboxone, vicodin, oxycontin receptor in the brain, but low and behold, we do have cannabinoid receptors there ! You can be sure human are never vicodin,oxycontin, or suboxone deficient, but now, I believe they certainly can be cannabinoid deficient.  

I hope the alternative healer works for you. Remember to try several different strains to build yourself a pharmacopeia of cannabis choices for medicating. Your experience horrified me and I thank you for sharing it. I've never read an account like it.

 

heal fast

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I wasn't going to get into the addiction part much, but I suppose my experience with it could benefit others as well.

 

I am currently on Suboxone, I tried a 4 week methadone ween off but i couldn't finish it properly. I would just take more methadone than I was supposed too.

 

I think the mental part, of me finally putting my foot down and screaming enough is enough! along with the suboxone has helped a lot. I started at 8mg 1 time per day. Reduced down to 2mg per day now.

 

Only thing I wish I would have done diffrent is shorten the total time of my suboxen ween. The doctor basically has just let me be in charge of my own dosages. Every month I can go get the same amount of suboxone I was Rx from the start. I have been on it for 3months. Jan 1st I will be down to 1/2mg a day and just stop. I know I am going to be bad off for a few weeks. By then I will have my card and heavily medicating myself those first couple days. Happy New Years*

 

Originally coming out of the hospital I was taking 60mg of oxycotone, numerous Norcos, and 40 mg of dilaudid daily for a year. Towards the end I mixed in Ultram, then tried to quit all cold turkey which seriously almost killed me. Withdrawal is no joke.

 

I have never had much experience with opiates and Being in my late 20's, Very athletic and physically fit, I was amazed how these Rx pain killers reduced me to a shivering wreck curled up in the fetal position in bed, sweating, puking and praying for some sort of relief.

 

Its embarrassing, it sounds bad when you try to explain to others how you have become addicted to pills. My family has been supportive, but I found myself trying to cover up how serious the problem had become. It put me in positions to be dishonest to my own family about things and it's exhausting worrying about how you are going to just get through the day when you run out. Walking around numb to the world is no way to live. I am scared that I will never come out of this pain pill coma. Will I ever feel the same again?

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i knew rick snyders fireworks idea was going to hurt someone.

 

i'm curious, do you think the new law to allow bigger fireworks should be repealed or do you think people should be able to blow their hands off if they want?

 

i would say let them blow their hands off. but i'd like someone who has experience with this to answer.

sorry to hear about your hand and your ptsd and welcome !

i have a buddy who cant stand loud noises..cant even crinkle a water bottle around him. i hope you get some relief!

 

with that kind of nerve damage , you will probably want to apply a mmj salve/balm to your hand on a regular basis.

did the doctors say when the pressure and pain would lessen? i guess it depends on the last surgery?

 

I say let them blow their hands off.

 

I made the decisions to use them unsafely. I went against many of the warnings clearly printed on the side.

 

I have to live with the consequences of my actions.

 

I'll be the first to call myself a dumb ***! and I deserve it.

 

I myself have a family and a 1 y/o son. I have selfishly taking much away from my family with this accident. Money, time, it almost makes me cry as I write this how worried I made them.

 

 

I think to be able to purchase anything larger than bottle rockets you should have to take a short safety course provided by most of the stores that sell them.

 

 

Fireworks are like anything else. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

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this year i saw my old box of fireworks sitting there in my closet so i decided to go shoot them off, get rid of them.

found some older firecrackers that have really short -fast fuses. part of those packs that go off , real loud you know?

 

luckily i only held it in the tips of my fingers as it blew up, about a foot away from my face.

my numb stinging fingers told me this was my final year playing with fireworks.

looking back over the years, its a wonder i didnt put my eye out.

 

thanks for the reply! 

hope your buddies' 14yo kid isnt too traumatized.

i'd be so full of regret if someone got hurt because i asked em to shoot fireworks.

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I know, he is doing fine. He thinks.my hand is awesome and its his favorite story to tell all of his friends.

 

Kids are pretty resilient these days.

 

If he was hurt it would have been a whole new ballgame. THank god I didn't get to play that one.

 

And yeah,, 4th of July for me now is sitting on the couch in my basement watching Movies and eating popcorn. I'll never go near the things again.

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i knew rick snyders fireworks idea was going to hurt someone.

 

i'm curious, do you think the new law to allow bigger fireworks should be repealed or do you think people should be able to blow their hands off if they want?

 

i would say let them blow their hands off. but i'd like someone who has experience with this to answer.

sorry to hear about your hand and your ptsd and welcome !

i have a buddy who cant stand loud noises..cant even crinkle a water bottle around him. i hope you get some relief!

 

with that kind of nerve damage , you will probably want to apply a mmj salve/balm to your hand on a regular basis.

did the doctors say when the pressure and pain would lessen? i guess it depends on the last surgery?

 

I am a bit interested in this balm/salve you speak of. I have never heard of it.

 

Can you tell me a little more about it? Best ways to use it? What it feels like to use it, ect.

 

Doctors shrug their shoulders when I asked them how long my hand is going to hurt for. Only way I can describe the feeling is if you have ever given somebody a high five just right with cold hands and got that sting.

 

My entire right hand is tingly stinging constantly. Also, where the two fingers are amputated, right above the knuckle. Very sensitive.

 

If I bump or knick them on anything, I about fold over in agony. Sometimes it feels like my fingers are still there and are throbbing. Phantom pains. Cold weather increases all of these problems.

 

My thumb was shattered into oblivion. Where it was set in a splint is where it is stuck. In its natural resting position. You see, my hand split open at the base of my palm all the way up to my pointer finger and around to the back side of my hand. Almost turning my handinto a KFC 2 piece dinner. Thumb being the drum stick. When they reattached/hemmed everything up, The webbing area of my thumb has been tightened up so much that I can barely squeeze a pencil in between it to write.

 

I have the option for an additional cosmetic type surgery to adjust everything and basically make shaking somebody's hand possible, and possibly give me some basic functions of the hand. But that means more pain, more pills, more b.s.

 

I'm holding off on that, and stretching my thumb out daily on my own.

 

I'm pretty surprised at how dexterous my wring and pinky finger have become. I can manage a lot with just those two. That is of course if the pain is being managed. Im thinking This balm/salve might help with that.

 

Thanks for your time,

JV

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