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When I Look In The Mirror!

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I wonder when did I become my father?


I see this old man looking back at me, I wonder when did this happen?  How did this happen?


I help my pops this time of yr trying to make a lil extra and I look at him and think he is 26 yrs older than I,  I am 26 yrs older than my son, I try to see what I did to make time go by so fast, If im sitting down and medicating I feel 17 again, when I get out of my lazy boy I feel 76, I wonder will I be able to do what my dad does when im his age?  I also wondered if I would have a heart attack at 43 like he did,  Im 8 yrs passed that, my  brother is 2.5 yrs older than me, he just had his first heart attack, will I have one at the age he did?


51 yrs went by so fast, is the next 26 yrs going to go by as fast? am I gonna be alive in 26yrs?  My friends and family are dying around me, I hide, I hide in my young mind, Im an addict, I look in the mirror and I wonder where it all went!



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I contemplate these same things, maybe we all do?

I try not to dwell in that place or I might get too bummed.

I have already outlived most of my friends and find it

much more difficult to get out to meet new ones than

when I was younger.  I have outlived my mother by

10 yrs now. 

Thank goodness I don't look like my pops though!


I say... don't worry, be happy and deal with life as it comes...

one moment at a time!


:bighug:  :blow-a-heart:




edit: mom passed 28 yrs. ago not I outlived her by 28 yrs.

       Too early to medicate?  Nah, never... must be old age ;)

Edited by imiubu
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Wow Im not the only one, I hide on my birthdays, I dont answer the phone, I wont let any one in my house do a cake or anything, I beleive on my next birthday Im going to just go do one of my many habbits for 24 hrs with earbuds, Im gonna sit at one of them virtual black jack games at a casino (the ones that sit five like a real table) and see how much I lose or win, or should I just go out in nature? na to darn cold, unfortunatly my b.d is in jan so not this old man, the cold gets right under my skin!


sj You my friend are always on my mind,  I am sorry if I crossed a line with my last attempt at comuncation, im not sorry I got to talk to wife but you know!  If we can find mates online we most def can find brothers from different mothers, I love you with all my heart!


I took my pooch in for a spade job, she is 8 yrs old, a lil to old for that, but I could not see her go thru being preg again, it was horrible this time, Im very glad my kids are older and I didnt have to explain anything!  I pick her up in 1 hr, and I can f ing wait, please go get your self another buddy, one out there needs you bro!


Peace all and thank you for all of your responses!


getting old sucks!

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